Frieren: A Neurodivergent Perspective

Frieren: A Neurodivergent Perspective

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (aka Sousou no Frieren / 葬送のフリーレン) is an anime that has earned a place in my Top 3 favorite anime beside the Aria series (Aria the Animation [Aria] and its subsequent seasons) and A Place Further Than the Universe. Currently, it’s one season has eclipsed nearly all other shows in how exquisitely presented it is. From the grain texture of its animation to its use of sadness as a way to appreciate happiness, Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (Frieren) is beautiful and should be on everyone’s watchlist. If there’s one game that I could say Frieren is most like, it would be Baldur’s Gate 3, as both accurately portray Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) in different ways and I have, among a plethora of others, a special connection to DnD.

https://cdn.myanimelist.net/images/anime/1667/135908l.jpg
She may not look it, but she will shove your sh*t in and out the other end

Frieren tells the story of the titular character, Frieren the Elf, and chronicles her story after she and her party of heroes have defeated the Demon King after a 10-year journey. After doing so, she and her party members (Eisen, Heiter, and Himmel) return to their kingdom’s capitol and celebrate before Frieren decides to leave them since her purpose in staying with the group, the defeat of the Demon King, had been completed. Fifty years later, she returns to the kingdom’s capitol and finds that her companions of Himmel and Heiter have aged considerably. Frieren being an elf, her sense of time was heavily skewed. So, she rejoins her companions for one last foray all together to see a once-every-50-years meteor shower. Shortly after, one of her companions dies. At his burial, Frieren laments that she never got to know Himmel better. Thus, a new journey shortly begins.

All of that is only in the first episode, but it quickly allowed me to relate to Frieren’s character. I, too, have a dear friend I lost all too soon. His online name was Neitherwing and we were like brothers. We shared joys in anime, weird music videos, and video games, but when he died in 2023, my reaction was like Frieren’s: Why didn’t I get to know him better? Why did I feel like I didn’t know him when he died? Why wasn’t I there for him in his last moments? What felt worse is that it wasn’t the first time I felt that way. When TDM’s very own Darkchylde died, the same questions swirled around my head. Sadly, I never got answers to those questions until Frieren premiered on the upper side of a decade after Darkchylde’s death and starting only mere weeks before Neitherwing’s death.

https://cdni.fancaps.net/file/fancaps-animeimages/25851893.jpg
Sad elf is sad. 🙁

Watching anime, for me, is a form of gaining life experience. Yes, the real world is not an anime (Tangent: Watch Symphogear. People who have should know exactly why I put this here particularly and I’m not sorry for it *smiley face*) and I’m glad it isn’t. However, I have learned very important life lessons from anime from a child on up to now as a currently 35-year-old adult. Lessons that I’ve taken from Aria are that life is precious and you should embrace the simple miracles that happen around us all the time. The fact that I could get to know Neitherwing, who lived half a continent away from me, and Darkchylde, who lived over an entire ocean away from me, were things that I should hold fast to and keep close to my heart. The Internet is a wonderful creation that allowed me to get to know them both before they left our world. Despite all the bad that can and has happened across the Internet, meeting them and others in my life were tremendous miracles that should be treasured.

Another life lesson I learned from anime (that I took from A Place Further Than the Universe) was that even in our most painful moments, when the worst of the worst arrives at your doorstep, you don’t have to deal with it all by yourself. Your friends will bear that pain with you. They will cry for you when you cannot cry for yourself. They will hold you up when you can’t hold yourself up. Furthermore, you can do the same for them. The world may not miss me when I’m gone, but my friends will, so I should treasure the moments we share. The anime Food Wars is special to me. While Darkchylde was alive, it was the one anime where he said he would want to watch the rest with me. Constantly sick as he was, we only got to get through the first episode before his passing, but I will never forget his laugh as we watched that one episode. Neitherwing, on the other hand, was a different story. From ahegao memes to Fallout 76 and everything in between, we shared so much. When he died, though, like Frieren, I could not remember what he liked. I felt like I had barely known him.

Image of Frieren: Beyond Journey's End
Such a kind smile. He could stare at it for hours. Truly.

Our journey together had an abrupt end before his death. For six years, we learned of each other’s interests. We partook of fun and games. We raised funds for charities together. We shared in sadnesses together. Then, finally, after all those years, we actually took part in a DnD campaign together. Him, his father, and I were all going to have characters in this campaign and we were all excited. Neitherwing’s character was an archer and I was going to play one of two Fullmetal Alchemist-inspired characters alongside his father where I was an armless Monk and he was my brother’s soul inside of a machine of sorts. It was time to indulge in a new fantasy world that was built by our own friends while relishing in our own interests.

As the campaign went on, we faced enemies we didn’t expect. From the dog-eared Sand Witch of Legend, Tyunahmelt Vageorgia to the astrally-focused Solar Chick-En, the campaign trekked onward. However, Tyunahmelt had amassed a following and attempted to smite my mechanical brother. While my brother left the campaign, Neitherwing’s archer and I continued. What I didn’t expect later was for his archer to die later in the campaign as the city we were in was swarmed by enemies. It was one of the last times we partook of anything together. The campaign continued for a while, but eventually dissolved as the gamemaster had real life to deal with and couldn’t commit to weekly or even monthly sessions.

Image of Frieren: Beyond Journey's End
Were these flowers called Ramen with a hot dog? No, but they were a favorite for someone.

Like Frieren, I went off on another journey without him afterwards. We both were playing FF14 at the same time, but almost never together. Like Frieren, I was oblivious to what was going on in Neitherwing’s life while I was on my own journey. His health concerns took a backseat to his fears of having an online presence. Like Frieren, I felt like we were still friends and that he knew I’d be there for him if I could, so I took that for granted and never sought him out first. Our discord DMs go back years in only a few mouse wheel turns. Like Frieren, I lost something that I once thought I had a firm grasp on.

Hindsight is 20/20, they say.
You never know what you have until you lose it, they say.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, they say.
You can’t have your cake and eat it, too, they say.

Frieren’s characterization in how she deals with the death of her former party companion is all of that and more. In addition, that’s how I felt when learning of his passing. I dropped what I could to go to his father’s side. I heard the cries of his mother lamenting her son’s death. I heard the cries of his father lamenting his son’s death. Like Frieren at her companion’s funeral, all I could do was be in the call with everyone else there and say nothing. I had no tears. There was nothing I could do other than force a moment of silence on the charity marathon I was running at the time. Everything that I could’ve done in the three years and change before his death, I had squandered and nothing will make up for that.

Image of Frieren: Beyond Journey's End
Which character are you in this situation?

Time has a way of providing perspective, though. As the title of this article says, this is how I feel on Frieren from the perspective as it pertains to my own neurodiversity. While I knew I had autism and ADHD from before I met either Darkchylde or Neitherwing, I didn’t know details. I didn’t know how they truly affected me. The truth is, my memory is shit and not everyone wants to constantly remind me of things. I thought I didn’t know Neitherwing at all before my most recent journey. I lamented that I didn’t get to know him more in life and, as stated, thought I had squandered our relationship away. I thought that I hadn’t truly learned the lessons that I had gained from Aria and A Place Further Than the Universe. It turned out, that wasn’t entirely true.

Draul reminded me that I constantly spent time with Darkchylde in TDM’s discord. Hours upon hours nearly every week were spent in voice channels with him and Draul. Even though I only remember the Food Wars reference, the reason I remember Darkchylde’s voice and laughter so clearly is because I heard it constantly. His presence was ingrained into me. Neitherwing was similar. His father reminded me that even after all this time, my YouTube recommendations scream Neitherwing. I can still hear Neitherwing’s voice going “YEEEEEEET” and laughing with him over the stupidest anime memes. I spent hours with him in PSN voice chats and even though our discord DMs tell a sad story of loss, I never truly lost him in my heart. His presence, too, was ingrained in me.

Image of Frieren: Beyond Journey's End
I love this elf and her propensity to discover mimics at any cost.

This is what Frieren goes through in her own journey after her companion’s death. Through journeying with some new companions that she gains as she travels, she recounts the details of his life. She remembers so much about what he was like, what he enjoyed, and what their time together meant to her. In my own life, since Neitherwing’s death and watching Frieren, I’ve learned another life lesson, but this one more for the neurodivergent peeps: Though you may not show emotions the same as others, it doesn’t invalidate how you feel; so, when the worst happens, don’t beat yourself up because you don’t grieve like others.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End is an immaculate piece of art. When I watched it, I never thought I’d feel parallels to my own life in this fantasy adventure story. Furthermore, I never expected anything to topple CLANNAD out of my Top 3 favorite anime, but here we are in 2025 where the anime that taught me to appreciate my chosen family members is pushed out of my Top 3 by an anime that taught me to appreciate the memories of my chosen family members. This anime’s storytelling method truly resonated with my own life story and endeared me to Frieren as a character much more than I thought I’d be.

All of that in just a part of one episode.

Image of Frieren: Beyond Journey's End
Rest in peace, sweet yeeter.

Frieren is an awkward, socially-inept girl who happens to be an elf in a fantasy world. I’m an awkward, socially-inept boy who happens to be neurodivergent in the real world. We couldn’t be further apart, but I feel the same as her while watching the anime. Like Dungeons and Dragons, where you aren’t the character, but you are the character. I believe that that is why I felt so at peace with the rest of the anime. Despite being in a fantasy world of magic, Frieren felt real. The character herself, the way the world is around her, and the story of her current journey in life all feel surreally real. All that before we even get into the animation, Fern’s story, the relationships between Frieren’s past party and current party, the side characters, the way demons are portrayed, worldbuilding, magic system, lore, and so, so much more.

Image of Frieren: Beyond Journey's End
“How’d you go this long without mentioning my name?”

In a world where Jack and Jill will stalk you over something that was never going to happen or wild fires rage and put millions of lives in danger, it’s important to remember lessons like the ones that this anime and others have taught me. I loved being around Neitherwing and because he saw how people berate others on the internet over and over, using any little thing they can find to keep you down even if you apologize, go to therapy, and make yourself be a better person, he refused to seek help online for his health problems. He gave up hope and I lost a brother. Time may go on and I may even forget this mentally, but his spirit and the spirit of friends around me will always persist.

Don’t stalk people; leave people alone and let people move on; ask for help if you need it; and, if you think you haven’t heard from a good buddy in a while… reach out. Learn from Frieren and learn to treasure the moments you have together. Whether it’s five, nine, or ten years together or just meeting someone once… be kind to each other and stop being judgmental pricks to one another. None of us have the time to deal with that, including you.

You should make time to watch Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, though. It’s on Crunchyroll. (So is Symphogear!)

https://cdni.fancaps.net/file/fancaps-animeimages/26171283.jpg
If anime isn’t your thing or something, then read a good book.

And whatever else you do, don’t smoke crack.

LoliNia